See this ...

well

I   D I D   I T !!!

Seriously ... the idea of doing this scared the bejesus out of me.  I would watch in awe as all of these physically fit, toned, muscular women worked their abs.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be able to do it at this point.  Some day ... a long ways away ... but not today yesterday at this weight and size.  But I did.  2 reps of 12 and one rep of 10 to be exact (killer on the lower back ... where I have issues due to past injuries so I need to be careful).  I even did the last 95% hugging a 10 pound weight to my chest. 

Wait ... there's more.  Yup.  You read right.  I tried two more things that I have always been afraid of:

this

and this

Granted I was only able to get up as far as the model (1/2 way) and I was only able to do 6 of them because my breasts were falling out of my bra and risked chin injury if I continuted but at the end of the day, for me, it isnt necessarily that I tried something new.  For me, with these three pieces of equipment, it is that I challenged myself to try three things that scared the living crap out of me.  Who knew it was in my grasp?  Not me ... but Tanya did.  When I asked her to show me how it was done to make sure I was doing it right, she encouraged me right along and away I went.  I love trying new things.  What a FABULOUS feeling.

So ... that is a total of FOUR new things for me this week.  The above equipment and an Anti-Gravity Restorative Yoga class which i LOVED and will be sure to take again.  Maybe twice a month.  What a great stretch and unlike a regular yoga class.

I didn't think I was going to make it back to the big city again until the weekend but it looks like I may have time to slip in for a quick workout tomorrow afterall.  After a week of 'news,' I am feeling a tad brave, I have to admit.  Tomorrow I think I am going to go and work in the *gasp* CO-ED gym.  The equipment there is so much better and more to chose from.

A New Goal

Through Facebook and via Daily Mile, I have been watching the fitness activity of some of my friends ... and a few scrapbooking artists that I enjoy but do not know personally.  Not only do they inspire me creatively but athletically also.  There are a few that stand out to me right now for various reasons (and whom I will mention in a bit) but right now one in particular is Cathy Zielske.  While I only 'know' her through the industry, as well as reading the encouraging comments she writes on Katie's Daily Mile posts, I find myself excited for her achievements and/or when she reaches a goal.  One thing that Cathy's Daily Mile feeds have me really wanting to do is bike.  I haven't ridden a bike outside since I was in  my early  double digits and I have only ridden a stationary bike once since then.  Actually.  That isnt true.  I have done a couple of stints of 10 minutes or 5kms but nothing significant until last week when I biked for 12 kms.  It was tough.  It was a struggle.  But I did it.  My rump was sore then numb and my legs hurt ... but it felt great.  Throughout it all, I realized that biking is something that I could really come to enjoy and love.  Not so much the stationary, indoor kind but the outdoor, breeze-in-my-face kind.  Cathy's DM feeds inspired me to get on the bike in the first place which has led to this - my new goal ...

Next spring/summer/fall, I want to go on bike trips.  I want to start on half day ones then full day ones.  I would LOVE for the final bike trip of the season to be a weekend one.  My Dad was supposed to bike from Ottawa to Kingston, spend the night, then bike back.  That sounds WONDERFUL.  Exciting.  So much more fun than running (although I still would like to do that too ... just not at this weight and size).

... the first part of my goal was set in to motion today.  I ordered my self a pair of padded bike shorts.  That has to be good for something.  Secondly, I did a google search and found that there are a ton ... and I mean A TON ... of trails in the area to ride on.  This actually made me excited with anticipation ... literally.  Slightly excellerated heart rate feeling, fun in my tummy, happy in my head excited.  I really do live in between two beautiful communities ... I should really take advantage of it.

I am not 100% sure how to start training for this goal.  I will have to do some research on that.  All I know is that it is going to have to start on the recumbant bikes at the gym because there is no way my plus sized lady parts can handle the spinner bikes.  With the information I have, I know I can do 12kms on the fat burning setting so I will try to repeat that goal until I have more information.  As soon as I get my protective gear I will move over to the spinnng bikes.  Once I can do an hour on the spinning bike, I will move up to Spinning classes.  There is one in particular that I am dying to try - Soul Cycle.  It involves a dark atmosphere lit by candles, great music and a cathartic setting.  How can I resist?  Once spring hits, I will start biking to work (which translates to getting my butt out of bed early.  this will be interesting.  HA!)  It's a short 15 km, relative flat road trip but I will only do this while the weather is cool as there is no way I would survive the work day after a sweaty ride in.  Ew!  From there I will incorporate trips that gradual increase in distance thus preparing me for a long trip in the fall.  Sound do-able?  In my head it does.  Now I just need to make it my reality. 

I really hope I can do this.  Anyone want to join?

In other friendly news ... I am going to quickly send a shout a few of my awesome friends:

• I've mentioned Katie before.  An absolute inspiration who began her journey a year an a half ago.  Her first goal was to run 5km .. and she did it.  One year later ... otherwise known as last week ... Katie and her husband ran their very first half marathon.  INCREDIBLE.  So very proud of her accomplishments (not to mention how amazing she looks - wowza).

This is Katie and Ryan one year ago,

after improving her health and training to run her first 5k since university

This is Katie & Ryan one week ago, after surpassing their 5k and 10k goals,

to run their first half marathon.  A distance of 21 kms.

~ C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S ~

• In other fitness news, my friend Stéphanie has joined the gym.  So proud of this step she is taking in her life.  So happy that she joined my swanky gym.  Ma belle - may you find love, peace and happiness on the inside and out regardless of where life takes you.  I am so happy and thankful to share this journey with you.
• Finally ... I am hoping that having a weekly gym routine will allow me to spend more time with my bestest of bests, Tanya.  (she doesnt have a fitness blog and the one blog she has hasnt been updated since Feb 2010 so no links here. teehee).  You would think that two people who love eachother's company and only live 10 minutes apart would see each other frequently.  That's not the case.  We are lucky if we cross paths once a month.  (her fault .. she is the one that moved to a town I never go to from a road that I take home that went right by her house.  oops .. did I type that outloud?  bahahaha.  love you!)  There are so many rewards to this that we/I have to make it happen at least once a week.  A travel buddy.  A workout buddy.  Guarenteed time with Tan.  How can I go wrong there? xox

So ... to sum up a long post:  a new biking goal, congrats to Katie & Stéphanie and more time with Tanya.  No matter which way you look at it, I am surrounded by some pretty awesome ladies that I am fortunate enough to call 'friend.'  Love you all. 

Happy health to all.

i have readerS ???

Well I for one, am gobsmacked and, I must admit, a tad excited.  I thought for sure Katie was the only one who read this blog but low and behold, my last post had comments from an anonymous read and Maranda.  Ladies ... you have NO clue the encouragement I got from your comments.  THANK  YOU.  I have been waivering on whether or not to keep this blog going but now ... maybe I will for a little while longer. 

Thank you for energizing my motivation.  It's been a rough week going back to work and adjusting mentally and physically to it along with the other struggles I am facing in life.  I know I am not alone in the journey but it is nice to see support outside the wonderful support I already have. 

Enjoy your sunday.

*** Viewer Discretion Advised ***

(this post was started on Wednesday August 31st.  It has taken me this long to actually get up the guts to publish it ... to put myself out there in my physical sense.  It is for this reason I have left it in the present tense and, come to think of it, it is actually funny since I have all of ONE reader.  why do I do this blog?)

This is me.  All of me.  The real me.  And I promise you this ... there are no other photos like it on the internet.  I can not believe I am doing this have done this.  I am very careful of what I put on websites (ie blogs. facebook, etc) because there is NO way I want anyone from my past knowing who I have become and what I look like.  I am embarrased that I look like this.  Dumbfounded how I not only let it happen, but stayed this way for all of my adult life.  Disgusted.

Today was a good day.  I started training with a personal-trainer (as soon as she gets her CPR) today and it was awesome.  She took me through a foundation strength program and I am feeling it.  I am a bit stiff ... but a good stiff.  I also did leg and arm work while I was swimming for the cardio part of my workout so that is a contributing factor I am sure.  What is even better is that my new personal trainer is also a good friend so it is a double bonus.  We now have a long standing bi-weekly workout date to touch base, track my progress and change things has needed --- and hang out and laugh and have fun.  (see ... double bonus)

Time to make a plan

AND STICK TO IT!!!

You've read me moan/whine/complain about all the ailments I have had over this past year and, while they were all legitimate, I lost the strength of my mind and allowed it to defeat me.  I am working out bits here and there but I am eating poorly so one counteracts against the other. 

WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

My friend Katie, who has been on a fitness journey of her own for the last (almost) year and a half and been very successful and amazes me.  She has lost 72 lbs and, as of today, can now run 17.6 kms - wowza!  Her midset is so strong, so realistic and, what is even more encouraging is that her whole family is doing it.  She and her hubby run marathons today and her two young girls even play gym at home.  Cute.  What's more impressive about Katie is that she is one step away from becoming a personal trainer.  In her 30's and no where near being a 'juice monkey' like so many PT's are, she sat through the training with a goal in mind.  To help others like her .... and me.  So, here is the general plan:

Every other Monday, Katie and I have a long standing date to get together, talk about what I am doing and the progress I am making ... or not making.  Katie gets to practice different things on my as she works towards fine tuning her PT skills and I get the benefit of having my very own personal trainer who will make me accountable.  I have even given her the go-ahead to get all 'Jillian Michaels" on my ass if she needs to.  One other perk about our bi-weekly date is that it will be a workout date.  YAY!  I love working out with Katie.  Between her and my bestest, who is a member at my gym and is great to work out with too, this could be a fun journey.  Okay .... more enjoyable journey.  Thats sounds realisitic. lol

Along with out bi-weekly meetings, I am going to start keeping a food journal to track what I am eating.  If I want a treat, I will have a treat but this will keep me in check.  Also, I have decided that, after I lose 50 lbs, I will treat myself to something wonderful and will continue to do so at 25 pound increments after that.  It will be alot of hard work but I think I will be deserving, no?  haha.  I think my first reward will be a day spent here.  Definitely something to look forward to.

So, where will this week take me?  It's a busy one BUT there is room for it to become a little busier.  I will reevaluate my swim times tomorrow or Monday and I will also search out plus sized bike shorts with mega padding so I can jump on a bike.  I would love to cycle more ... especially outdoors.  (maybe a goal for the spring?  Get my very first real bike and start biking outdoors.  That would definitely be better than stationary biking, that is for sure.    Hmm --- here is a question that just popped in my head with regards to biking:

• if a person is going to ride a bike for the purpose of weight loss as well as wanting to get to the point where she can bike long distances out doors, what is the best type of stationary bike to use? 

At my gym with have three types of stationary bikes.  Regular, recumbant and spin bikes.  I will have to research this one out since I really don't know anyone in this position.  Maybe I will pop over to the Midlife Swimmer's blog and ask her.  (she that's an inspirational lady, let me tell you!).  I always find it so helpful to learn from others.  I am just really not much of a book learner.  Do and see.  That's my way.  All I know is that I want to get fit all around and be able to do alot of things.  I don't even need to do them well ... I just want to be able.  Biking might be a fun goal too.  Something to think about.

** Just keep Swimming * Just keep Swimming **

Recognize that?  It sits in my mind with stroke I take and each flutter I kick.  I even try to think it to myself in Ellen DeGeneres' voice.  (Finding Nemo is one of my faves ... as is Dory.)  Now if only I had a character to relate to for walking and weights. 

With regards to walking, one thing is clear ... it becomes rather boring when you are doing it on the treadmill.  Walking to music is defnitely reserved for the great outdoors but, when inside, an hour long show does the trick. 

With regards to weights, I think I want to get those cute lil gloves.  Becauses of the excess weight, and the over-sized breastsesess, a good grip takes some maneuvering at times.  I also wonder if it will allow me to lift more reps or heavier weights. 

Lots to wonder, I know.  All I know is that I need to STOP wondering and START doing.  My weight is creeping up.  I havent been eating regularly or properly.  I have no routine.  Come September, and my return to work and routine, I will be back on track and revvying to go. 

Tonight, I walk 5km with some weights to follow and a leisure swim to finish.  Gotta get me in the water .. no ands, if's or buts.  Tomorrow will hopefully see me swimming as far as I can in an hour at the local outdoor pool.  Finally ... a Tuesday where the weather is good enough to take advantage or that I am not busy.

Last night,  I swam 1.44 kms in 40 minutes.  It was not what I had intended for a workout but it is what my body was calling me to do.  I was actually in the gym doing other things but my head just wasn't in it so I listened to what it wanted.  I actually thought I was doing poorly for time because my arms were very tired after tubing on Saturday .... but I was wrong.  I also would've kept going for more laps but my workout buddy had finished her gym time and was joining me for some leisure laps.  I can feel myself getting stronger in this department.  Now I just need continue to improve in the pool and apply it to the gym with hopes of getting back where I was in the very early spring.

Stay healthy

Back in the saddle?

HELLO KATIE!!!!!!  (since I think  you are the only one who reads this, I can say a personal greeting to you.  If by chance there are others here ... yay.  please comment so I know you are around! haha)

It's been 4 months since my last post (i know, i know) and while there is no real good reason for it, I have plenty of excuses.  My main one being that I have been struggling since getting those chest infections only to lose out on a vehicle for 3 weeks which meant no gym time.  It completely and totally broke my mojo.  Going to the gym became a chore and workouts didn't give me the high I once had.  Followed by an extremely busy June, I was lucky if I made it to the gym twice a week and, lets face it, at that point it wasn't hard to twist my arm to keep me away from there.  Because of it, I not only lost my mojo ... by I found 15 of those pounds that I had lost.  SO disgruntled.  No routine.  No meal planning.  No activity.  No good.  I began forcing myself to get to the gym at least twice a week.  This was a few weeks ago.  Now I am ailed with something that causes me to become very discombobulated when I get hot and/or exert myself.  (because this doesnt happen when I do laps or aquafit, I tend to lean more towards the body temperature and not the exertion).  Needless to say it has affected my workouts but I am doing the best I can with what I can do. 

Because of my mindset, lane swims were a chore and it near killed me to do it for 30 minutes straight.  My stress has also been high and, because lane swimming leaves you with only the thoughts in your head to occuppy the time, I often felt like I was drowing in my problems.  Fortunately, all of that changed today when I received something that I had been waiting five weeks for.  Thanks to the best fitness purchase I have ever made, I am excited to do lanes again.  Today I swam for a total of 1.5 hours and did 3 kms -- and all because I had music to drown away my stresses and get lost in the beat of my favourite songs.  I purchased a (generic) waterproof mp3 player from one of the online, Asian based stores.  For one third (or less) of the price of a Finis, Swimp3 or speedo, I now have a 4gb piece of workout heaven to clip on to my goggles and swim along to.  Justin never sounded so good and lane swims were never more enjoyable.  I cant wait to get into the water again!

A few months ago I expressed an interest in signing up for the Army Run 5km marathon.  I had began the training process and, just after week three, got sick with my chest colds which stopped that dead in it's tracks.  My lack of mojo took over and the goal of running my first 5k in September went out the window.  That being said ... I still plan on entering the run ... only walk it instead.  I have to make sure my head no longer gets discombobulated but, once cleared by the doctor, I will be ready and revvying to go.  Even better ... I'm going to use my waterproof mp3 player again!  Why not?  It's smaller than my iPhone, which I currently also use as an iPod to work out to, and can clip right to my sunglasses so I am hands free.  And, if it rains, I will have ZERO worries about protecting and/or ruining my phone.  Brilliant!

So ... there is an update.  Hopefully my regime and mental state will return to the point where I do things I can feel proud enough to blog about (even if it is only with you, Katie) and my Daily Mile will start getting a workout of it's own as I return to the activities I long to become addicted to again.  In the meantime, here is what my mp3 player looks like.  The one I have is black what I wanted to also show what it looks like clipped on.  It really is a great little contraption!

okay ... how cool is this?  when looking for an image to share with you, i came across this gadget.  Again ... brilliant!

Stay Healthy!