So Discouraged

I did my measurements again today.  A couple of days less one month and ZERO change.  I am still fighting that 20 pound mark - for almost 2 months now, I might add - and, despite working out 3-5 times a week, nothing is happening.  No shrinking from weight loss or inches.  While I know I am not giving up, it makes me wonder why bother?  I should have lost alot more than 20 lbs in three months.  I know this because I have done it just on Weight Watchers alone with no exercising ... just by watching what I eat ... and now I exercise more and eat better with no results?  What am I doing wrong?  I swim an average of 3x/week and, when I do, I am breathing heavy, heart rate is up and the pausing between laps is less both in frequency and duration.  Last week I started walking and it is a brisk walk.  Again, heart rate is up, breathing is heavier and my body temperature is increased to almost a sweat yet still ... no changes.  My eating is not 100% but it is pretty damned good for the most part.  I just don't understand the human body.  Even with my PCOS, it shouldn't be this hard.  Time to change my habits more, I think.  Less of this and more of that.  At this point, I could really cry.  *sigh*

it's ONLY one minute...

this is what I kept telling myself as I attempted jogging again - this time following day one of the Couch to 5k program.  I did a brisk walk for 5 minutes before starting the program which also starts with a 5 minute brisk walk.  Then it happens.  ding - - ding - - ding - - "start running" the voice on the iPod tells me. So I did and wouldnt you know it ... I FREAKING DID IT.  I ran for 60 continuous seconds ... ONE WHOLE MINUTE.  I was stolked and actually cheered for myself when I was done -- out loud.  Unfortunately, a friend drove by and stopped my workout for about 20 minutes and I found it hard to restart after cooling down completely.  That being said, I did complete a 4.5 km walk AND RAN TWO MORE TIMES @ 1 minute each time.  Man I was sucking wind but it felt good.  I actually felt proud of myself for the first time in such a long time.  I haven't run a continuous minute since I was in high school a million ago and a bazillion pounds lighter.  Week 1 of this program may actually become week 1 a, week 1 b, etc but I will eventually get to week two. :o)

Reflection

On Friday October 29th, two friends and I ventured away from the aquafit world and went lane swimming.  One friend worked out this way all through college.  The second friend was a competitive swimmer until her mid teen years.  Then there was me.  I major lover of the water.  A strong swimmer but not as strong after reaching some pretty high plus size poundage.  The place where I came alive, feeling so free and light.  But to swim lanes ... hell no!  On this particular occassion, why not.  It wouldn't hurt.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would love it so much.  Now, here we are 6 days shy of the one month mark for lane swimming and I am addicted.  I also can not believe how much change I have seen in myself after only 3.5 weeks. 

• approximately 20m across, I was winded and out of breath after my first freestyle crossing .... but it was manageable.  The return trip however, not so manageable.  I needed to stop between laps to have water and regain control of my breathing.
• fortunate to have a relatively smooth stroke (i think), I still didn't carry the grace that more experienced and in shape swimmers have.  I also had to lift my head out of the water higher than I should when breathing.  Favouring the right side, I breathed every other stroke, never every third stroke as most swimmers do.  Every fourth stroke?  Forget it.  Not enough oxygen in my lungs. 
• after a quick warm up, we did a timed swim.  It took me 25 seconds to swim 20m freestyle as full out as I could.  I could barely breath afterwards.  Talking wasn't an option.

Fast forward to today:

• Yesterday I swam 2000m in an hour and two minutes.  I barely stopped but to quickly move my counter after each lap and maybe, after a few hundred meters, stopped for a few extra breaths.  Despite being out of breath at times, I pushed on and continuted swimming, not letting my lungs get the better of me.
• today I swam 1650m in 53 minutes.  My muscles were a little tired from yesterday's swim but again, I pushed on.  A bit slower of a pace but pushed on, none the less.  Stops to catch my breath were even more infrequent than before and often only because I had to constantly readjust my goggles as water kept seeping in on the right side.
• thanks to the addition of a swim cap and goggles, my freestyle breathing is more streamlined.  I don't life my head out of the water as high and almost have the technique down. 
• While I still favour breathing on the right side, I can now breath every 4 to 6 strokes, depending on my pace, if I wish and do not feel winded or short of breath
• after 1650m and a few minutes of rest, I did a timed swim and swam 25m in 25 seconds.  Unlike my 20m in 25 seconds at the beginning of a workout, this was 25m after my workout and I was breathing heavy but controllably as my friend and I talked about our progress immediately after the swim.

Believe it or not, the best part of the swim wasn't the reflecting as I did my final laps.  It wasn't thinking about how far I feel I have come in just three short weeks of dedication and passion for what I am doing to lose weight and get healthy.  It was the compliment from a man who was swimming in the same lane as us and whom we have seen there on a couple of other occassions.  He is a man of decent physical shape - not stong and buff but a bit soft and snuggley (however this is only known because he is in a bathing suit.  In street clothes, you would be none the wiser).  He said "You girls need to slow down.  I am 45 years old, swimmng longer and I can not keep up with you."  Outside of the Hubs telling me how proud he is of me, the best compliment thus far.

For now, I set my sight on some goals. 

1. see how many laps I can complete in an hour and two minutes, trying to improve on the 2000m mark, over the next month.
2. improve my breathing techniques (especially breathing more comfortably on the left side) as well as my freestyle swimming abilities.
3. take a swim class that helps improve strokes.  Back stroke ... good.  Freestyle ... needs fine tuning but otherwise good.  Breaststroke ... arms are good, legs - a conversation for another time.  Butterfly ... you mean those pretty little insects that caterpillars transform into, right?
4. learn more about Total Immersion Swimming.  It is so smooth and graceful.
5. master my flip turn so that I can use it when swimming laps comfortably, efficiently and effectively.
6. keep working towards better health and fitness.
7. and finally .... convince my friend - who is already running and spinning - to get herself into a pool and start swimming and training herself to become a triathlete.  I know she could do it!

And with that, I bid you a happy, healthy and super fit day.

Ahhhhh. Refreshed!

I finally went for a workout today after not going since Tuesday due to circumstances beyond my control and it felt great!  I swam 2000 meters in an hour and two minutes.  (equivalant to 2kms).  I was breathing heavier than I have in a long time but pushed through it as much as I could, taking fewer rests and fewer breaths while resting.  I was hot. Very hot.  If I wasnt in the water, I know I would have been sweating.  I had to dunk my head a few times to cool off while I was resting.  It was awesome.


Not only did I complete 2000m, I shaved a minute off of my 1100m time - or so I think.  I need a lap counter.  Seriously.  It would make life so much easier to just have to push a button at the end of the lap rather than slide my water bottle over a tile after each 50 then count them off as I go.  God forbid someone shifts my bottle on me.  lol  I tried doing elastics on my wrist but that wasnt the best option either.  I kept forgetting to shift them.  There are several lap counters you can get but this is the one that I like best, I think. (outside of the $200 pool mate which would be awesome.  It does everything automatically.  Lap count, time, stroke count, etc).  This one keeps time and laps with a quick push of a button using your thumb - now I just need to find out where to buy one in Canada before ordering from the US.

** POP **

that's the sound my left kneecap has been making when I flutter kick.  ARGH.  It starts off okay then a-poppin' it goes.  Piss me off because it slows me down.  I DON"T WANT TO BE SLOWED DOWN.  Argh.

Now I wonder what to do?  Go to doctors?  Get some kind of elastic-e tensor dealio?  Suck it up and do the best I can?  I've never had a 'sports injury' before outside of sprained and twisted ankles from volleyball.

On the up side .... my arms got a helluva workout because of it.  :o)

Did you feel the earth move?

That was me .... trying to run.   I lasted about 5 steps and stopped.  It just didn't feel right.  It felt heavy and klunky and ... like an elephant.  Maybe I was expecting too much?  I knew I wouldnt have the same graceful feeling I feel when I am in the water but that was just wrong.  lol  Maybe I need a pair of shoes with more bounce?  Or just new shoes all together.  I am so not a running shoe kinda gal.  When I actually do wear them to work in that once in a blue moon moment, students notice as do the staff.  `What???  You`re wearing runners???`  Because of this, my running shoes `last` a long time.  I think I have had the same pair for about 7 or 8 years now.  Add age to the quality factor (they are Champions from Payless ... probably a BOGO sale, no less).   So tell me my running followers - and that would be you Katie and Tanya since you are the only two people who know this blog exists right now - will the right running shoes make me feel more like and airy and less like a thumping elephant?

I got to swim 5x this week (and walked once) and it was awesome.  I took advantage of my CU memberships `4 under 14 for free` feature and brought my 13 year old niece.  I told her what the pool has to offer and guess what she wanted to do?  WORKOUT!!!  As if I was going to talk her out of that.  lol  So for about an hour and twenty minutes .... her call when to stop - - she didnt want to .... we worked our way up and down the lanes at our own paces, stopping on occassions to check in with eachother.  Towards the end, she really wanted to try the water running lane. Ummmm -- okay!  I was on board, of course.  Once again ... she loved it.  I am going to get her some goggles and a swim cap because she wants to do this again with me.  If it wasn`t $30 for a round trip to Ottawa right now,  I would be picking her up again tomorrow to work out. 

Speaking of swim caps ... I cant believe I didnt take the time to get one sooner but whoa la.  What a difference it is to wear one.  And it was only $3.99 at that.  I got almost no water up my nose, my hair stayed out of my eyes and, the best part, I didnt have tangles and hair loss thanks to multiple elastic use.  For the first time, I truly felt like an althlete last night.  Now if I could only start seeing a difference with the battle of the bulge.

Enjoy your weekend.  It`s a beautiful one.

ETA:  Found this while blog hopping my way through google results.   I think I am going to add this to my side bar:

WALK when you have to,

CRAWL if you must,

Just NEVER GIVE UP!

0 to 1650

This is my latest challenge to myself. 

1650 is the number of meters in 1 mile (1.6 kilometers).  My friend brought this training information to our swim last night and it trains you to be able to swim that one mile in 6 weeks so, if it goes well, by Christmas i will be swimming the whole thing non stop.  It's pretty cool actually.  You swim 400m, stopping for 12 breaths after you complete each 100m distance then you swim 200m stopping for 8 breaths between each 50m distance.  You complete the week 1 work out (x 3 days) by swimming 100 yards and stopping for 4 breaths between each 25m distance.  (for a total of 700m swam that day)  Each week is increases the length of time between distance and breath until week 6 when you should be able to swim 1 mile non stop.  That's 4 times around a track. 

In the meantime, I definitely need to get me a lap counter and a waterproof MP3 player.  :)

Enjoy the day.

I Gotta Feeling

that today was a good day.  :o)   (take two ... so much for the auto save feature ... argh)
.

I tweaked my challenge a bit, be it by accident, but I think in the long run it will be easier.  I over swam my 600m and, when I finally stopped and began calculating, I realized that I almost doubled it.  Oops.  Rather than count laps and see how long it takes me, I am going to see how many laps I can do in a specific amount of time.  Today I did 1,100 meters in 32 minutes (thats just shy of 3x around a track).  I need to make some sort of counting concoction because it is going to be so easy to lose count.  Preferring to be left to my own thoughts, I had to shove those aside and focus on constant counting.  It almost ruined my workout .. almost.  Not to mention that I really do want to get some music to swim to so that is another reason I need to make something to help with the counting.  I have a few ideas in my head involving beads and stretch elastic ... now to see if it pans out.

Wondering why the B.E.P video below?  After 45 minutes of lane swimming, I slipping over to the deep water running lane to try my hand at that.   I have done it several times in aqua fit class but never for any length of time.  I lasted about 30 minutes before I had to pack it in.  (birthday supper at Moms ... yum!).  I would never have been able to do that on pavement.  To give you an idea of the pace I kept, I would say I was at tempo with I Gotta Feeling.  In the next few days I will add intervals to the routine to help build my endurance and heart rate.  Maybe one day soon I will leave the pool and try it on pavement.  :o)

If nothing else, enjoy the tunes.

A Challenge to Me

I am going to work out today.  It's been two days since I went last and I am going a tad stir crazy.  I want to feel the burn.  I want to feel the silkiness of the water as I stroke my way through it.  I need to workout!

Carleton University is a 50m pool.   Divided in half, we swim in the deep end.  It is 25m each way.  On Friday, I did my first set of continous laps.  Continuous meaning no stopping at the end to catch my breath except for the occassional sip of water.  It meant a slower pace but I was very happy in the end to have done it.  I did 4 lengths in the 25m (totalling 100m) but it was getting busy so I moved to the smaller part of the L where two lenths would equal 25m.  I did 22 complete laps there totalling 550m.  It felt great.

So my challenge ..... regardless of what part of the pool I have to swim in, my goal is to swim a total of 600m.  I am going to time myself  to see how long it takes me then, during the next month, I am going to work on improving my breathing and stroke techniques while I work out and see if  I can increase the time it takes me to complete 600m.  In one month from today I will time myself doing 600m again and see if I have improved.  Hopefully I will see a difference.  I also know that I can swim 25m in 23 seconds.  I would love to shave two seconds off that by Christmas.  Yet another goal as I continue to make my heart stronger ... now I just need my lungs to get on board too.

My second goal is to also sign up for a Master's Swim class.  A class that helps you improve your swimming abilities.  Right now I am a strong freestyle and back crawl swimmer but most definitely need fine tuning.  My breast stroke abilities are minimal and my butterfly stroke abilities .... well .... that stroke just adds a look of comedy to my routine.  I cant do it at all.

Here's to a happy, healthy and get-fit kinda day.

m.

ETA - I was just setting up a goals section in my sidebar and thinking about 600m and what it entails when the perfect visual hit me like a ton of bricks.  Think of running on a track.  Once around is 400m thus making 600m one and a half laps around the track.  It no longer seems as impressive, does it?  lol

And the journey continues...

November marks the beginning of my third month working out.  I lost 3 weeks to a chest infection then a cold that just wouldn't go away.  I am still feeling congested in the chest at times but nothing that is slowing me down anymore, at least. 

Remember the complaints I had about how boring lanes are and how I want to get myself a waterproof mp3 player to see if I can at least attempt to get excercise this way?  Well ... after a trip to Walter Baker last Friday for their lane swim, it turns out that I freakin LOVE lane swims!!!!  Who knew.  My friends do too so that is an added bonus and we've been to 4 other since then.  The slow paced glides through the water followed by a burst of speed for a length or two.  Barely being able to catch my breath but still being able to have somewhat of a conversation despite the lack of oxygen.  Not caring what others around me think of my fat ass in a bathing suit because my objective is to be fit and healthy, not worry about my insecurities or lack of self esteem. 

In honour of this new found love for lane swims, I am moving on from the City of Ottawa Aquafit programs and getting a membership at Carleton University.  I absolutely hate that I have to drive such distance to work out but what price do you really put on your health?  The added bonus of joining the CU pool is that I will no longer be getting home at 9:30 and 10:00 at night.  Lane swims run daily from 4 to 6 which means that I should be home by 6:30 at the latest.  Because of the aquafit times, we weren't leaving for the city until 6 or 6:30 each night.  This means that I will be getting home around the same time as Kevin now.  Not leaving before he gets home and coming home to find him in bed, most nights.  Another HUGE bonus.  (ps - I am now taking submissions for crock pot recipes so supper will be ready when we both arrive home lol)

Speaking of my fat ass ... I am sadly only down 20 lbs which I blame completely on three weeks of inactivity due to that chest infection.  I had hoped to have lost more by now.  I also think I am gaining muscle too so that could be weighing me down as well.  My arms and legs feel a tad more firm but that could just be in my head and I can see that my legs are more toned - or so I think.  (pps - also taking submissions for suggestions on how to rid ones self of cellulite ... lol)  Either way, I feel good.  I now steal Kevin's belts now to keep my pants up and shirts I havent worn in a couple of years are wearable again.  Maybe I should invest in a belt of my own, come to think of it.

So, there is a month + in review since my last update.  My next venture (I think) is cross country skiing.  Second hand, of course.  Winter is my least favourite season so I dont want to invest heavily in something that I may detest.  lol   As for today, I am off to measure myself (finally).  I took a photo of me in a bathing suit last week but I may just wait until I hit the 75 lbs mark to post that comparison.  ;o)

Here is to a happy, healthy and fit November with much success for all.

It's Going Well

With the exception of this week, no thanks to a bad chest infection, I have been working out 3x/week at an hour and half each class... 

Okay, okay.  So this isnt entirely true.  There was that one Monday, two weeks ago, where I only worked out for 20 minutes but its not my fault the alarm went off and we had to evacuate.  There was a small fire in the room with all the fuse boxes.  30 minutes outside, barefoot and wrapped in a blanket is not my idea of a good time.  Once it was all cleared we had minutes to grab out things and leave.  No changing, no nothing so home I went in a damp bathing suit wearing a sweater over top.  Thank goodness it was the icky one with the skirt bottom.  I would have been waaaaay more self conscience otherwise.  It was still damp when I jumped out of my friends car into mine.  Never in my wildest dreams did I clue in to what that would mean.  damp bathing suit skirt rubbing against legs keeping them moist + a 10 minute car ride with bare backs of thighs on leather seats = and excruciatingly painful exit of the vehicle.  OMG the pain.  I think it was right up there with childbirth.  I was postive that, when I looked at the seat, I would find my skin attatched to it.  Never the less ....

I am feeling great, losing weight and not dieting.  No Weight Watchers.  No Herbal Magic.  Just common sense.  I eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it.  I have super healthy lunches I never took the time to make before.  (week three into school and I have brought lunch every day.  a first...)  I love water.  I have a ginormous cup with lid that I fill with ice and top up with water.  Oh the looks I was getting ....  It holds at least a litre and half to two litres ... and that is with some ice.  I am enjoying the food because I am not under any pressure to eat the food.  Veggies have taken on a new meaning.  The cravings for chips and ice cream isnt there - assumingly because no one is telling me that I CAN'T have it.  It is my choice.  Maybe I am finally ready to make this happen for real this time. 

I am hoping to take some photos of me in my bathing suit (oy vay) but havent gotten around to it yet.  Maybe I will do it on the first of every month to keep it consistent and easy to remember.  I would love to have a visual of myself through the process .... and maybe one day share when I get closer to my goal.  HA!  Maybe one day I will even share this blog!!  lol

Here's to a happy & healthy new life

Mellisa

And I'm Off...

Here I go again, on the journey to finding a healthier me.  I need to do this.  I am desperate to do this.  I hate being fat and out of shape.  I want to tuck in my shirt without having the hanging belly.  I want to know that I can sit in a plane without having to wedge my ass between the arm rests and ask for a seatbelt extender.  I want to feel thin enough to go on the rides at Calypso without fear of getting stuck in the water tube or being stared at like a beached whale.  (Don't say it wont happen.  It does.  Others do it.  I do it - although not critically but usually out of admiration).  I want to run - not walk - run up a flight of stairs without being winded.  I just want to feel good about myself.  That is all.

After losing 50 lbs last year, I got pregnant (again).  Constant and insatiable needs to eat combined with partial bedrest (go to work, go to bed.  its the weekend .. stay in bed) found the pounds creeping back.  The food was not unhealthy for the most part ... I think it was the lack of activity I was now facing after several months of aquafit classes.  30 lbs later, here I am starting again.  The only thing that is different this time .... I am not alone.

Three times a week, two of my friends and I will drive to Ottawa to take deep water aquafit classes.  I am completely stoked.  I come alive in the water.  I feel so free.  The beauty of the aquafit schedule is that I will be doing 2 - 45 minute classes each time I go.  That is 6 workouts in three days plus wii fit once I get it hooked up on off days.  I am not going to join Weight Watchers as of yet.  I am going to change my eating habits on my own and so far so good.  I brought lunch every day last week and have done all the prep work so that I can throw my lunches together every day this week.  This may seem menial but it is definitely HUGE.  I am the worst when it comes to bringing a lunch. 

Tomorrow I am also going to do an unheard of for me.  I am going to stand tall and take a photo of myself .... in a bathing suit.  ACK!  I will repeat the process on the 13th of every month as to provide myself with a visual incentive.  Maybe one day I will even share it on here .... maybe.

Here we go.  I am going to do it this time.  Not for my husband, not for my family, not for the babies I want to have .... for me!